We recently had the privilege of serving a family
that requested our assistance in planning and organizing a celebration of life
service for a young woman who died of cancer.
She was only 37 years old and left two beautiful, young daughters to be
raised by their father. When we met with
the husband to plan her services, he was very adamant that the ceremony, as
well as those components within it, was to be uplifting and celebratory, not
somber and depressing. He said that his
wife and he were upbeat people, who liked to laugh and have fun together, as
well as with their family and friends.
Therefore, he wanted his wife’s ceremony to reflect this.
Our hearts instantly went out to the family. In a very brief period of time, it was
obvious that this was a very loving and close family. Although there was much sadness, the husband
continued to talk about and focus on all of wife’s wonderful qualities as well
as all of the fun they had had together.
He also made sure that he involved his two daughters in helping to
design certain elements of the ceremony.
As we began to discuss what components he would like
us to include in the service, we first wanted to learn more about his wife…
what she was like and what she liked.
Based on this, we presented options to her husband that would help
personalize her service. A friend of
the family offered a beautiful venue to use as the setting for the event. There was plenty of space outside for
children to play as well as a large pavilion that provided a place for people
to sit and eat. The husband’s employer
provided the catering service, a further testimony to how much these people were
valued by those they’ve touched.
Although the option was presented, the husband
decided not to include any clergy or celebrant and instead decided to hold a
three hour event, where friends and family could come, have food and drinks,
remember all of the good times they shared, and share those memories with each
other. We assisted the husband in
organizing a memory table, which included many items that help provide an
insight into his wife’s life. One item
that comes to mind was the Swedish Fish.
Apparently, she very much enjoyed eating this candy. So much so, that she would buy them in bulk
from BJ’s Wholesale Club. This became a
bit of a joke within the family, so of course Swedish Fish had to be included
on the memory table.
We were also asked to create a video tribute that
would run during the ceremony for people to watch. Because many of the photos supplied to us by
the family were old and in poor shape, many hours were spent restoring these
photos on the computer before including them in the video tribute. These newly restored photos were then
presented to the family for them to keep.
We asked the
husband if he would like a DJ or live musicians to provide music during the
ceremony. He decided on a DJ. After learning what type of music his wife
liked, the DJ was instructed to play this type of music. The DJ was also instructed, based on the
husband’s wishes, not to play any “depressing” music. The family also asked us to provide items for
friends and family to take with them as a keepsake.
The weather on the day of the ceremony was
beautiful. The sun was shining and the
temperature was in the 80’s. About 250
people attended that day. As I walked
around, making sure that everything was proceeding as scheduled, it occurred to
me how this ceremony differed from a traditional funeral service. Although this was a very sad event,
especially considering the deceased’s young age, people were openly talking and
laughing, children were laughing and playing on the grass, upbeat music could
be heard (some of the children were even dancing), and the “feel” of the event
was more uplifting.
Toward the end of the ceremony, we handed out
balloons to the family and friends and asked them to join me out on the
lawn. I then read a poem and played a
song, while everyone released their balloons together. As they listened to the song and watched the
balloons float up into the sky, many people hugged each other and cried. After the song ended and balloons were no
longer in sight, the ceremony concluded.
Many friends and family members, including the husband, made it a point
to come up to us to say that the ceremony was perfect and exactly what their
loved one would have wanted.
It was gratifying and rewarding to know that we were
able to provide an appropriate celebration of life service for such a wonderful
and loved woman. The husband even
encouraged us to share his wife’s services, as well as some of the photos taken
that day, so that others might better understand what a celebration of life
service is and what some of the elements of these services include.
For more
information on celebration of life services, please contact:
A Classic Touch Celebration, Inc.
PO Box 2312
Methuen, MA 01844
(978) 289-9225
info@classictouch.info
www.classictouch.info
